in which i continue to lose November 9, 2009

i managed to get the ipod to work today, but i am sans headphones. think if i put it close enough to my head i could still hear it?

 

ETA: found them! they were right on my desk the whole time!

The Breast Blog November 6, 2009

someone on shakesville linked to this and i love the idea behind it:

Her Life With Boobs

i answered this questionnaire and found it really interesting to plumb my thoughts about this issue that is so day to day normal that most of us never think about it.  so, here are my answers. please think about sharing yours with the author of that blog, or here as well:

Please send your responses to herlifewithboobs@gmail.com

Her Life With Boobs–Questionnaire

1. When did you first start to notice your boobs? How old were you? Had your mother or father or someone other than yourself already noticed that you were developing? Did someone else point it out?

my mother noticed them when i was in 6th grade. i knew they would be coming, because my girlfriends were all talking about getting them, but i didn’t see them myself.

2. Were you excited to be developing breasts? Did you see it as a hindrance? When did you first wear a bra? Were you excited about the bra? Did boys snap your bra strap and then run off?

i mostly didn’t care about the boobs themselves. the women in my mom’s family were small chested and i guess that meant we just didn’t talk about them. i HATED wearing a bra. i still remember shopping for the first one with my mother, grandmother, and older cousin. SO embarrassing! it was itchy and i didn’t like it. i only wore it sporadically for a while, but my mom noticed me running around with some kids in 7th grade and she could tell i wasn’t wearing one. she told me i needed to be more aware of that and wear it every day from then on.

i don’t remember a specific bra-snapping incident, but i know that was cool or whatever, so i’m sure it did happen.

3. Were you self-conscious about the size of your boobs, and if so did this self-consciousness affect your behavior?

not really. they were pretty proportional so it just wasn’t an issue. i got them when i was supposed to and was never too small or too large for the social norms of my school, so no one bothered me. what DID bother me was my mother! like i said, she and my grandmother were very small, but i took after my dad’s side of the family. when i told my mom i needed a b-cup, in 10th grade, she called my grandmother to celebrate right then! neither of them graduated to a b-cup until they were pregnant, so she thought it was a pretty big deal. in retrospect, it’s kind of funny, but i was totally mortified to have them discussing my breasts so openly.

4. When you see women with huge boobs, breast implants, anything like that what is your first response?

naturally huge-boobs mostly just get a notice and possibly a thought of sympathy for them. i have several friends with very large breasts and i’ve heard the horror stories about being told they’re dressed inappropriately when they’re wearing a t-shirt or anything other than a turtleneck. i don’t envy that at all.

i don’t really think much about implants unless they’re freaky obvious. i live in dallas, so you see your fair share, but sometimes there are women with so much plastic in them that it’s more like looking at a window display. i know they’re human and i shouldn’t mock, but it’s hard not to stare sometimes.

5. Have you ever thought about breast reduction surgery? Breast Augmentation?

no. mine have always been proportional to my body and weight. the only time the size bothered me was when they went up during college, when i gained weight, but didn’t go back down after i lost weight. i’m used to them now, but it meant that shirts fit differently than i was used to for my size.

6. What are your thoughts on bras? Do you feel good or bad without one? Do you feel compelled to wear one?

i don’t like bras, but i don’t like the way i feel/look without one. my compromise is to have a bunch of those tank-tops with the shelf bra in them. at work, i still have to wear a bra under those, because it’s so damned cold that i’m nipping, but i take the bra off as soon as i get home, and almost never wear one on the weekends.

7. Have your boobs ever gotten in the way of your enjoyment of a situation?

only when other people have pointed them out. at my birthday party a few years ago, i was wearing a new dress that i LOVED. but one of my friends made a comment about how big and great my boobs looked in it (she’s very small and meant it as a compliment). i was totally self-conscious for the rest of the evening and i hate the pics of the party because all i can see are the BOOBS!

8. What do you think about this new cultural thing of big, high, silicone boobs? How do you think the images of “normalcy” of these “fixed” boobs affects the way women see their own boobs?

i don’t like it at all. i understand why a woman might want to get a lift after a few kids, but the implants that make it look like you have balloons floating on your chest are just not right. i’m only 30, and i’ve noticed the changes in my body over the years. i realize that my breasts are not as “perky” as they once were. but i’ve got friends in my age group who are constantly criticizing their own breasts, and joking about tucking them into their pants or something. we all have body issues, me included, but it just kills me to hear these beautiful young women kicking themselves for not looking 15 anymore.

8. Do you have any specific examples or stories of your boobs causing you trouble, getting you into trouble? Do you have any examples of people feeling free to make judgments based on your boobs? Have people ever spoken out of turn about your boobs?

they’ve never gotten me in trouble, but i am uncomfortable when people point them out. like the story before about my friend at the party. i’m not accustomed to them being particularly noticeable, so it’s very off-putting for me if someone points them out. i don’t even like it when my girlfriend compliments them because i’m afraid that means they’re too noticeable.

9. How would you talk to your daughter about boobs if you could see that she too was going to be “blessed”, and how would this talk differ if you could see that your daughter would be “flat-as-a-pancake?”

if i thought she would be particularly large, i’d probably be much more proactive about warning her about boys and the social stigma. it’s horrible, but being an early or large developer can be all it takes for a girl to be labeled the school slut. for either situation, i’d start early, telling her my own stories, and showing her pictures of the women on both sides of our family. it’s so important to let kids know that their bodies are normal, no matter what other people tell them. and i know she’ll get all kinds of mixed messages, no matter what her body looks like. i want to give her the tools ahead of time to know what to expect and how to fight it.

9. Are there any terms you just hate (I hate jugs) and why?

tits/titties – it’s usually used by men in a derogatory or dismissive/silly way. you rarely hear a woman use the word, and i don’t know that i’ve ever heard someone use it lovingly.

in case you hadn’t noticed… November 6, 2009

the world really sucks this week. i think we all need a do-over in a serious way.

not good November 3, 2009

it’s only noon and i’m out of coffee.

la la la! i hate my project! November 3, 2009

i just need to share. i’m really f’ing tired of a particular project at work. i’ve been tired of it for a while, but i made it worse by initiating a project to automate some of it. i just really don’t want to keep up with it in the old manual form when i know a better form is coming. but, it’s not something that can be left in the mean time, so here i am, doing the same damn thing every day and just really hating it. bleh.

*ETA: also, i’m really tired of telling the same people to do the same things over and over again and them NEVER doing it right. and no, i don’t have any actual power to enforce these things, but i do get all the questions and responsibility for fixing it afterwards.

people make me cranky October 28, 2009

i can’t say why, but i’m REALLY mad at Big Tex right now. he sucks big ones.

Breaking News October 28, 2009

Attention IT dept! having a vagina does not make me brain deficient. thank you. you may return to your regularly scheduled sexism.

Sara Kruzan jailed for life without parole for killing her pimp October 23, 2009

from feministing:

“Life without parole means absolutely no opportunity for release,” said Senator Yee. (of California) “It also means minors are often left without access to programs and rehabilitative services while in prison. This sentence was created for the worst of criminals that have no possibility of reform and it is not a humane way to handle children. While the crimes they committed caused undeniable suffering, these youth offenders are not the worst of the worst.”"As a society we’ve learned a lot since the time we started using life without parole for children,” said Elizabeth Calvin, a children’s rights advocate with Human Rights Watch. “We now know that this sentence provides no deterrent effect. While children who commit serious crimes should be held accountable, public safety can be protected without subjecting youth to the harshest prison sentence possible.”

or, Create a Petition

Change.org

I have a problem October 20, 2009

i’m addicted to the library. 27 items out! i checked some of these things out in, like, may. i’m not kidding. it’s a problem. we’ve had to dedicate a whole bookshelf (small, but still!) to library books/movies.

My pointless attempt at logic October 19, 2009

heh, i had a moment of stupidity and thought i might try to speak logically to some wingnuts today:

in response to this post at humanevents.com:
Kevin Jennings: Unsafe for America’s Schools

let’s see how well this goes over…

Anyone who doubts how unsafe schools are for kids who show even the slightest behavior out of the norm (boys who aren’t great at sports or girls who don’t want to wear dresses in photos) should read Jenning’s memoir, “Mama’s Boy, Preacher’s Son”. Would you want your child spit on, shoved into and locked in lockers, even threatened with death, every day, only to have teachers and counselors pretty much ignore it, because “I know those kids. They would never do such things.” You’ve all been through middle and high school. You know most of the bullying doesn’t happen in view of the teachers. You’re hiding your head in the sand and hurting the kids if you pretend it’s any different.

No one encourages homosexuality anymore than they encourage blue eyes or shortness. Ask any kid who has known since they were very small that something was different. Ask yourself when you knew about your sexuality. Did someone have to encourage you? When could they have talked you OUT of being straight? Could they do it now, if they got you in the right mood, or the right moment? No, you know that’s bunk and that no one can “teach” someone else to be gay, straight, or otherwise.

Also, for all of you who claim to be Christians, but spout such hate, I remind you of 1 John 4:20:
“If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.”

“Love the sinner, hate the sin” is nowhere in the bible and is BS* used by extremists to promote the kind of hate that hasn’t been seen in the country since the civil rights movement of the 60s. Find for me the actual words of Jesus that tell you to do these things, to speak such hate and disrespect for our President and your own children. Find me that and I’ll stop fighting against you.

*double heh: i had to replace “bullshit” with “BS” after the website so kindly asked me to “Please clean up your comment”. it’s okay to spew hate like linda blair’s soup around there, but only if you do it in a way your grandmother would approve of.